One time my wife explained to me that she didn't feel like I appreciated her doing my laundry. I responded that she should stop doing my laundry. I didn't feel like it was her "job" to do the laundry and if it was the source of some emotional problem, it could easily be avoided. I thought I had solved the problem. She's my ex-wife now.
This reminds me of some web article I read a while ago complaining about how women suffer more "emotional labor" in relationships. It was of course written by a women, but to me, it really seemed like a lot of whining, which amounted to "I think all this stuff is necessary, so if my husband doesn't pitch in and do half of it, it's unfair." So, for instance, if the wife insists on having an immaculately clean house, and the husband doesn't do his share on keeping the house up to her level of perfection, then he's a slacker. But from his perspective, he doesn't care about the house being that spic-and-span, so why should he be responsible for that much work? There was more to it than that; I think another big example was keeping up with social engagements. Again, something where the woman somehow thought these things were absolutely necessary, volunteered to do them, and then complained that she was having to do all this unpaid labor, while the man really didn't care about doing these things at all.
I believe that's absolutely true, however the people whining about "emotional labor" never seem to see this, they just blame the husband.
Honestly, I'm starting to think that very few married couples are really all that compatible in the first place, and that the institution isn't a very good deal for most people involved. Considering just how many marriages end in divorce, plus how many people simple stay single these days, it seems like marriage really isn't workable. It only worked in "the old days" because women were 2nd-class citizens who rarely could get good jobs, and social pressures just forced people to get married, and stay married, even if they were miserable together.
