No, y'all managed to kill me server >_< I'll try to bring it back from the dead.
EDIT: it's back (or at least, looks like it). The traffic is being drained to a static copy of the page, so don't be surprised if comments you post on that page don't appear.
I'll be back with an actual (cache-based) solution soon, hopefully.
Scroll down to RESOLVING: HIGH APACHE MEMORY USAGE
EDIT: I realized after I posted that simply posting two links might seem snarky. I don't mean to be. I know these links because I've been in the same spot you are. I think we all have. That's how we learn :)
Thanks for the links, I actually applied the second one on my own, without much success. Right now, I'm looking at a server with no swapping, normal memory usage, low processor usage, no IOwait, but serving HTTP requests at the speed of a dead snail nailed to an ice cube.
I'll try to install the cache plugin as soon as I retrieve control over my server.
To get a picture of what's going on, try logging in to your shell and install htop. It's a great little utility that shows you load averages, memory usage (broken down in to used, buffered, and cached memory in real time. Very handy.
