Well, that made my head hurt in a hurry. I've used Readability in the past, but was completely unaware of their API, and so I lazily searched it and the top result was a Ruby implementation on Github[1]. Alright cool, it does expose a lot of values.

Wait, what's this in the sample code?

    article = ReadabilityParser.parse("http://www.paulgraham.com/really.html")

Hrmm. And apparently the author is a HN'r, though they haven't done much in the past year...

1. https://github.com/phildionne/readability_parser